Questions About Divorce: What You Wish You Knew Sooner
By Angela Dorsey
The period leading up to your divorce is full of uncertainties. While you can’t foresee every detail of a divorce, it’s still critical to fully consider your options and make plans for the future. Properly preparing includes building a professional team that can support you by answering your questions about divorce and helping you create a better future.
I’ve compiled some of the most common concerns I’ve heard other women express they wish they had known before their divorce. Hopefully this guidance gives you some insight and motivation if you find yourself in a similar situation.
What Should I Do if My Ex Ignores the Divorce Agreement?
You can always hold out hope (particularly if your divorce is peaceful and your ex-spouse is cooperative) that everything goes as planned.
But be aware that things in your divorce agreement might not be followed, especially if circumstances change. And if they do, are you prepared to fight it out in court again?
Unfortunately, the court retains the authority to refuse to find the other party in contempt. This is a case of “choose your battle.”
How Do I Know Which Battle to Choose?
It’s difficult to think about, but it’s crucial to have an honest evaluation of your situation from both you and your lawyer. Divorce may have a profound impact on your life, and while it can be difficult to keep your emotions separate, knowing what is and isn’t worth fighting for can ultimately save you time, money, and misery.
If it’s not absolutely necessary, don’t let your pride or anguish make a difficult situation worse since you might have emotional consequences with other family members or even your kids. Rather, concentrate on getting the matter resolved as soon as possible so you can start to heal and move on. A competent lawyer should offer unbiased advice, helping you make choices that serve your long-term interests.
What Should I Do About Alimony and Life Insurance?
Life insurance and alimony are typically ambiguous subjects during divorce.
Ultimately, life insurance and alimony should work together to safeguard not only you but also your children. The court often mandates that the spouse paying alimony or child support have life insurance in place.
If the paying spouse doesn’t currently have a policy, they may have to purchase one to confirm that there’s still financial support available should they pass away.
Does Raising a Child Really Stop When They Turn 18?
Even though you might not be co-parenting your child or enforcing rules, expectations, and boundaries at home anymore, raising a child does not end when they turn 18. There may be times when you and your ex must come to decisions that are right for your children.
Further, you need to put up a united front regarding how you want to guide your kids as they enter the early adulthood stage of their development.
Consider mediation for guidance on child-rearing agreements. Mediation allows you to have a clear plan for what you want to do when your kids grow up. You can discuss questions about divorce that are outside the state-mandated guidelines of your separation agreement.
A parenting plan might seem unnecessary because you won’t be doing much “parenting” after a certain age, but it can help you set guidelines for how you as parents continue to support your children.
What Should I Do About College Tuition?
Every family has a very different situation when it comes to paying for higher education. States also differ in their tuition costs.
While you’re negotiating your divorce, think about college and how you want to support your children’s transition into adulthood. Even if your kids are young, things like savings plans and obligations need to be taken into account.
After all, some parents prepare for college expenses during their kid’s entire childhood, so this could be something significant to think about before you get divorced.
Let Us Help
Navigating the emotional, legal, and financial difficulties of divorce can be demanding, but you don’t have to do it on your own. Every situation is unique, and these tips should be modified to suit your situation.
Work with a professional financial advisor like myself who can provide personalized advice and financial lessons for your particular situation. Our team at Dorsey Wealth Management is dedicated to helping current and future clients make informed decisions about their financial future. Don't hesitate to reach out for any assistance.
To get started, schedule a free introductory 30-minute phone call. You can also reach us at (310) 370-7776 or angela@dorseywealth.com.